I’ve been talking and texting with a friend (@jockdgear on Twitter) who is new to long term chastity. He’s a hard core kinkster, and he’s been in cages before, but I think he’s locked far more men than he’s been locked by. In fact, I think this is the first time he’s been locked by someone else long term.
We connected through a mutual friend. As we chatted, something was familiar. It turns out we hooked up a long, long time ago (more than 20 years). He recognized me first, but I remember him well from then. He was hot, sexy, very fun, very dominant, and very much younger than me. Too much younger at that time. It was kind of hard to call him “Sir” with a straight face. I was in my 30’s and he looked 19. If he was the sub, it might have gone differently. Also, I started a relationship shortly after we met, so it didn’t go anywhere. Still, it was fun. Small world, no? (Just between you and me, if the opportunity presented itself, I’d totally hook up again now…he doesn’t look 19 anymore…alas, I don’t look 30 either).
The reason I’m writing about this is that hearing what he’s going through, talking about it, seeing his excitement, and seeing the wonder of chastity through his eyes reminds me of why I am locked and gives me a chance to live through that transition to a new normal again vicariously. Ever time he asks “did this happen to you?” I chuckle a bit and nod knowingly. His experience will be different than mine, but there’s a lot of commonality there.
The most fascinating discovery he’s made so far is the power he feels in his submission. The power when someone controls your cock, when they keep it from you, when it belongs to them, and the lengths that you will go to please them because of it are revelations to him.
He’s also discovering how chastity rewires your brain to focus on things as sources of pleasure you hadn’t before. When a door closes, a window opens, as they say. He told me recently how he almost shot a load when his Sir had him tweek his nipples after having him beat his balls. I’ve come from having words spoken to me. I too have come close to orgasm from nipple play. The brain does indeed compensate and it’s one of the miracles of being caged. Your nerve endings elsewhere become as sensitive as those in your cock used to be. I think that’s why locked men are able to have orgasms from other forms of play. It’s so much easier to train your ass or your nips to be your pleasure centers when you have few other options. I can’t speak for everybody, but I think it happens to a lot of locked men, if they are locked long enough. That’s the key; you have to be locked long enough to let it happen. I’m sure the amount of time varies by individual, but I doubt a week or two is long enough. For him (and for me), it started after more than a month.
He asked me how he didn’t know about it? The answer is he didn’t ever have the chance to experience it. Many bloggers describe this, but I don’t think people actually believe it can happen to them. The idea of having your cock in a tube is not something everyone understands, and even those that do don’t often do it long enough to let the changes happen. Also, the desire to stay locked grows over time. It took finding someone who is keeping him focused on staying locked for him to experience this.
The excitement, the wonder, and the thrill of what happens when you are locked is truly something to behold and no one who has experienced it that way comes out the same. It’s almost mystical, almost religious. It’s also intense and insane and ridiculous. It’s like the bungee jumping of sex; it scares you, it thrills you, and it leaves you with a rush that you crave over and over once you get past your initial fear.
I hope he continues to have such an amazing journey into submission to his KH, and that he never regrets the choice he made. Those of us who want it eventually find a way to make it happen, and like the newly converted, you can feel overwhelmed by it, but as you let yourself get swept along, you find your footing, you find your equilibrium, and you find that your life is more complete and wondrous than it was before.