Over on my second favorite blog, DenyingThumper, the rabbit has been stewing a bit lately about how locked men see their cages. He’s also been polling on Twitter, between posts about his now size 32 waist (skinny bitch). The results have been fascinating, though I admit that some of the possible “answers” didn’t really fit my situation. But it got me thinking. Why do I want to be locked, and is it the end, or is a means to an end? And the answer is, I don’t know.
It’s no secret by now that being caged has been a strong desire of mine. It’s also really brought out my submissive side. But, if that was the goal, then once it was reached, what purpose does the cage serve? It did awaken things in me that will never go back to sleep. If I was unlocked tomorrow, my desires wouldn’t change. And to some degree, that was a goal. I wanted to change the dynamic of my marriage and I wanted to serve my then Sir better. It’s not been 100% successful, but there’s been significant changes. It seems the cage served it’s purpose in that regard. It made me reconnect with my kink, which I had been dying to do. It was indeed a means. That having been said, I don’t want to be unlocked.
If Tripp wanted me to fuck him or put on a show for him, and he unlocked me, I would do it as best as I could. I doubt I would be a good fuck anymore. I’d probably not last too long. The days of me pounding someone for 15 or 20 minutes are gone, I’m afraid. But, while I would enjoy pleasing him, and probably enjoy the act as well, I wouldn’t choose to do it. I don’t really want to Top anymore (well, not much). I want to be the sub mostly, like 99.99% of the time. I still need to initiate any sex with my husband almost every time, so I sort of feel like I still Top from the bottom, at least to get him going (he does have his moments though, not as many as I would like, but still). Mentally, I can still enjoy dominating someone, but not physically (there are some exceptions, like Jake Gyllenhall). But you don’t need your cock in a cage to be a bottom, and I want my cock in a cage. So that seems to be an end, rather than a means.
My identity is a a locked man (Dom or sub is irrelevant), but I also like the physical presence of the cage. It feels good. It makes me horny, and it unleashed powerful forces within me. It also gives me more confidence. I mean, I go around all day, every day, with my cock in a cage, and if you really look, you could probably tell. You have to be proud of it to do this, trust me. Just like you can always tell a guy who wears leather from a guy whose leather wears him. It’s just confidence in yourself and a “fuck you” attitude to anyone who would try to shame you. I would absolutely love to live in a world where kink (and everyone has at least one kink) was something that no one had to hide. I think it would be a far more interesting world, and a far better one. That’s been a struggle for me my entire life, so I feel rather victorious at times, because I’m not fantasizing about it, but rather living it. Both a means and an end, it would seem.
Being locked (I don’t call it chastity because I have sex) has unlocked (if you’ll pardon the pun) forces deep within me. Things keep growing and evolving, which is why I am so happy and fascinated with it. If it was always the same, it would be boring and would serve no purpose. I’d be over it. So, I guess in some ways, it is an end unto itself, but in others, there seems to be no end of discoveries about myself, and it’s a means to continue to explore my kink, my emotions, my desires, and my strengths as well as my weaknesses. It’s also, according to some, turned me into a slutty cock whore, but I digress.
It’s both a means and an end, but it’s also neither, or at least, there seems to be no end to the changes I am going through and discoveries I am having about my true self. I’m a work in progress, and I hope I always will be. The cage just seemed to have kick started that process, but I don’t want to be without it, because it’s also a part of who I am. I don’t believe that will change. Maybe it will. We will just have to see.