The Switch is Back

While I have been primarily focusing on my submissive side, I have always had a Dominant streak, which I thought was in deep hibernation. I used to describe myself as a Dom with a submissive side, then a switch, and recently primarily a submissive, because that is where my headspace is and needs to be. But an opportunity presented itself last week and, unconsciously and completely spontaneously, Dom Doc came roaring back to life, and it was absolutely enjoyable.

While hanging out with my locked buddies, I was playing with the owned sub’s balls. He was responding with both a mild degree of agony and a significant degree of ecstasy. So I began playing with them harder and harder, eliciting the type of response that Dom Doc loved so much. He was writhing with pain and pleasure and crying out that he didn’t want to cum. I couldn’t help but increase the intensity of the torture (and add in some nip play). I ordered him to spread his legs farther and he obeyed. He cried out that he was close, and I kept varying the intensity to keep him on the edge but not allow him to cum. At one point he was crying out the word Sir. I don’t know if he was calling out to his owner or to me, but it didn’t matter. At first he was begging not to cum, but that changed to begging to be allowed to cum, and that’s when Dom Doc went into overdrive, because Dom Doc wanted him to want to cum, and was not going to allow it. Putting him in that headspace was an amazing feeling for me. I wanted to tie him spread eagle and continue working him over for hours (alas, that did not happen).

Watching him writhe, begging to cum but denying him, seeing the pleasure and the torment on his face and in his words brought back all the things I love about being Dominant. It’s situational. It always has been. There are some men I feel Dominant over, and others I don’t. I don’t have plans to abandon my submissive journey. If anything, I want it more because I want to experience what he was experiencing. But, to be fair, Dom Doc is a much better sadist than sub Doc is a masochist. Sub Doc needs a long warm up before he can take the kind of pain Dom Doc likes to inflict. Sub Doc can get there, usually, but it takes awhile before the pain transforms to a more transcendental experience. Sub Doc wants to be more of an object for use. Dom Doc enjoys tormenting the sub. But what I enjoyed more was feeling his submission, his letting go, his obeying me unquestionably, his willingness to go on a journey together, and the flow of energy and words between us. It’s been a while since I experienced that, and its good to know I both still enjoy it and I still have a desire for it, in the right circumstance.

Kink is ever evolving, ever changing, at least for me. I guess that is the definition of a switch. I’m in a place where submission is my goal, but Domination, should the opportunity present itself, is certainly not off the table. Of course, my cock is completely off the table, but that was not a problem in this case. In the end, it is whatever is pleasurable for both parties involved, and it certainly seemed to be that evening. I have, over the course of my life, always pigeon-holed myself. I need to stop doing that. I realize that I still have a sadistic streak that I find absolutely enjoyable and in the right situation, I have no problem asserting it. I loved the power exchange we had. It doesn’t matter which side of the exchange I’m on as much as that the exchange happens. Having said that, I prefer to be on the submissive side. I don’t want to have a boy again by any means, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy one now and then. Yes, I still want to be owned property as well. I suppose that I am the very model of switchiness, even if the desire to switch is rare nowadays. There is no denying that it is and will always be a part of me.

-Doc