All’s Quiet on The Western Front

I know….I haven’t posted much lately. Everything is fine. I’ve just been incredibly busy. So busy, in fact, that it’s boring. There’s really nothing exciting to tell you about. I did, however, take my first out of town trip a couple of weeks ago. It was my first time stepping on an aircraft since 2019 (which is unusual for me). I went to Vegas for a few days for a meeting.

My flight there was fine. It was a quick 40 minute hop. The airport wasn’t crowded and the plane wasn’t either. All in all it was “up, down, safe and sound”. The return, however, was vastly different.

First off, the airport was crowded and the terminal this airlines uses (SWA, FYI) is old. I arrived in plenty of time, breezed through security, got some food (I ate my food at the little roped off areas they have around EVERY eatery. I then went to the gate to await my flight. At the gate, I played musical chairs because there was every type of Covidiot you can imagine; guy not wearing mask even though masks are mandated and there is a sign every 2 feet. Apparently, the rules do not apply to him. Then there was lady who thinks you cannot talk on a cell phone without removing your mask. Then there was “chin strap” mask wearer (hey Buddy, the 19th century called and wants their tooth ache back). Finally, there was “I’m going to eat my sandwich at the gate even though there are separate tables literally EVERYWHERE” lady.

After moving myself multiple times, we finally boarded the plane for a 39 minute flight. Now, I fly enough to just sense when something unusual happens. Even though I was half napping, I am also vaguely aware that CA is west of NV. So, when the aircraft turned south, it was kinda obvious that we were not going to be on a 39 minute flight. I fact, we went quite a way south, did a circle around Palm Springs, then flew up the coast before turning east to then turn around and land. Turns out that thunderstorms popped up right in the middle of our planned route and were severe enough to cause rolling ground stops. Okay, I understand this. I was okay with our 30 minute flight now being 90 minutes. But the fun didn’t stop there, not by a long shot. (Next time I will tell you about the epic text battle I had with Tripp who vehemently insisted we were landing even though I was actually on the plane and it was evident we were nowhere near the airport)

Once we landed, turns out there were no gates available because all the planes sitting at them were empty and not departing due to the ground stops at their destinations. So we sat, and sat, and sat. Now, I know being a FA is a sucky job lately, and kudos to the folks doing it, but our FAs were, to put it mildly, surly. They made it a point to let us all know they weren’t any happier than we all were. They also made a point to let us know that there was no alcohol on the plane and that NOBODY ever died from not having alcohol (a point which, at that moment, was arguable). They did give us each a little cup of water, eventually (and a tiny packet of pretzels)

Finally, someone figured out that you could actually move empty planes that weren’t going anywhere and allow full planes that weren’t going anywhere to disembark their now very unhappy passengers and then these aircraft could become the empty planes that weren’t going anywhere in place of the other empty planes. They also could have remote parked us and let us walk. They claimed that was a safety issue, but I’ve been remote parked at some of the busiest airports in the world (CDG in particular), and have used air stairs many, many times.

Anywho, from wheels up to the time I actually exited the airport, 4 hours had elapsed. I mean, I’m used to spending a lot of time in a metal tube, but this was excruciating. Tripp had to admit he may have gotten poor information from the internet (did you know that there is misinformation on the internet??? )

Otherwise, the trip went smoothly and it was nice to actually go somewhere. I miss travel, even to Vegas, which is basically next door.

I hope you are all well and safe, and I apologize for not writing sooner.

-Doc

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