Warning, I’m going to rant. I’m going to go off on certain guys who need to grow the fuck up. Who, might you ask? Anyone who still says Str8-acting in their online profile, that’s who.
When I was a young lad just coming out, it was tough for gay folks unless you were in a major city. You could be fired for being gay. You could be killed for being gay. There wasn’t really internet yet, but horn dogs will get the word out somehow, usually in a personal ad. I’d say 90% of gay men would put “straight-acting” in their ad. It was accepted that effeminate gay men were undesirable. Well, I know straight men that would put a Drag Queen to shame. It was wrong, but it was common back then. But even then, I wanted to slap them upside the head and yell “you suck dick and take it up the ass, that is not even remotely “straight-acting”. But, times being what they were, with AIDS decimating gay men, and everyone afraid of touching anyone even suspected of being gay, I understand the desire to stay hidden.
Today, I don’t think anyone, straight or gay, is expected to act in a particular way. I see straight guys with nail polish, and gay men playing professional sports, and still, somehow these Neanderthals cannot accept the fact that they want dick. You don’t want to date a drag Queen? Fine. But for fuck sake, we are way past feeling shame for being gay. I spent too much time feeling shamed. When I see that, you allegedly str8-acting little fucks, it is the biggest turn off ever, FYI. You might as well just say you’re still a closeted little shit and can’t accept the fact you want cock. Telling your bros about all the pussy you got while you were really on your knees in some bathroom sucking dick isn’t acting straight. It’s lying to yourself. You need to deal with the fact that you have not accepted your homosexuality. I get that. Do the work, it’s hard, but stop pretending no one knows you’re a fudge packer, because guess what, everyone does and no one cares.
These people are perpetuating a stereotype that all gay men are little queens (maybe some are, and what’s wrong with that?) or are somehow less deserving of being treated as humans, and that men who don’t wear flannel and drink beer aren’t really men. What is straight acting anyway? Scratching your balls and slapping your buddy’s ass for hitting a line drive? Let me tell you, that’s gay. As for the concern for being effeminate, well I’ve been in the leather scene for 30 years, and these men will fuck you up and leave you beaten and bruised, and they are certainly not trying to act “straight”. There is no “one” way of being a man, straight or gay, so get the fuck over it. The only time the term should be used is to describe Neil Patrick Harris doing a love scene with a woman.
It’s code switching. It’s “I’m not gay” elevated. It’s “I’m ashamed of who I am”, and it’s wrong and it’s unhealthy. These guys have a singular view of what a man should do, and it doesn’t involve cock sucking, even if they suck cock, and it needs to stop.