Wow, the original post took off like a rocket, and the feedback has been amazing. I didn’t realize how many subs and Doms are in a similar situation. There really is zero information about taking on someone in long term/permanent chastity. Everything out there is basically all about incorporating chastity play and spicing up your sex life (beginner stuff). Most of us, who are permanently locked, developed that status in tandem with someone, and now can’t imagine ourselves without a device. I’ve found myself wandering in the wilderness these past two years, so to speak, looking for a Sir who understands. You can only write so much in a post, so I didn’t go into a lot of detail on some subjects. I have some additional thoughts I wanted to share to “flesh” out some of the topics.
As I said, when we give someone our keys, it’s a gift. We aren’t going to just toss them across the room. When I gave my keys for the first time (it was the first time I was locked 24/7 and giving away the key was like giving away the safety net), I was kneeling before him with the keys held in my open palms. It was a solemn moment. Now, we don’t need you to keep us locked, honestly. That’s keyholding 101. We’ve probably got keys all over the place, We’re not going to unlock. We don’t play the “maybe I’ll unlock you tomorrow” game. Sure, that’s a lot of people’s dynamic, and maybe it was ours at one time, but we are way past that. We do NEED you to be proud you hold the key. If I see that key swinging from a chain around your neck while you are fucking me and my cage is swaying back and forth, my mind explodes. Most of us locked subs don’t want to unlock, we will fight it, and we will suffer for it, and we will ignore problems. We need YOU to unlock us when we should be unlocked. You will possibly have to demand it. We need you to pay attention to what’s going on under the tube, because we have a tendency to just tough it out. We’ll keep driving even though the red check engine light is on. And, we need you to lock us back up when it is appropriate, and not before, because we will put that cage back on probably before we should. It won’t happen often, but it will happen. So your responsibility isn’t really to keep us locked, it’s to keep us out of trouble because we get so invested in being caged that we can make stupid decisions. You own it, you need to take care of it. (And when we are unlocked, please please just ignore the fleshy bits)
Being locked indefinitely, is for most of us, the greatest expression of our submissive nature. We love it when you emphasize that. We love it when you put your hard, Dominant Top cock next to our locked submissive dicks. I particularly love it when you cum on my cage. That’s a two-fer in the D/s dynamic. You are demonstrating the power of your free-range manhood, and you are ejaculating on the thing that isn’t and can’t. Trust me, this will blow our minds. The more you emphasize the difference in the power dynamic between a locked sub and his Sir, the deeper we go into subspace. Try it…you’ll be amazed. Oh, and when we are just cuddling, if you play with my cage, you’re going to have a very hungry ass pressing against your groin. If your cock is worn out, you may need to put something else in there.
You and your locked sub will have to develop a dynamic all your own. We (unless we are self-locked), have already done that at least once with someone else, but every relationship is different. However, if you want a dynamic that involves us using our flesh cock, that is going to be a discussion. You are asking us to change our very nature. For me, that’s a signal that we won’t fit. I’m not going backwards. Some subs may be willing to change to please you, most won’t. Don’t expect it, and don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen. As as I said before, if you don’t want someone with a metal dick, you need to find someone else. You might feel that since you are in control, you get to decide what happens to the caged contents. That’s perfectly valid, and in some relationships is the norm, but again, that’s a discussion and the answer very well might be no, and if you force this issue, we’re going to walk away. Be prepared for that. We have had a long, long process to get to where we are. It was a difficult journey for us, but we have arrived at a place that is the core of our being. Honestly, I wouldn’t be very good anymore anyway. I used to be able to fuck like a jackhammer. I doubt now I’d even last 30 seconds. It won’t be fun for anyone.
We’ve talked about edging using actual physical sensations. But chastity is a mental game as well, and you can edge us in other ways. For me, whisper that I’m never going to be unlocked, tell me I’m never going to cum, tell me my flesh cock is never going to be used….that drives me insane with desire. Over the years, my body has become much more attuned to other sensations. It’s amazing what happens when the cock is not a focus of sexual pleasure anymore. Oh, we want pleasure, we just want it differently. Stroke my nips, caress my balls, play with my hole….I’m going to leak (and yes, I’m a masochist…you can definitely get rough, but not all of us are). You’ve likely got those skills and now you have a chance to really use them! If you want power exchange, you aren’t going to find a better one. And we get pleasure from your orgasms as well. We are very focused on seeing you cum. We love it, and we want to make that happen for you, and it’s really easy to get us “in the mood” because we are in a near perpetual state of arousal anyway. We want your cock ALL THE TIME. Trust me, you don’t want me to cum….you want me constantly horny. It takes weeks (or more) of denial to get to that state. If you do make us have a traditional orgasm, be prepared. It’s going to be massive, very loud, and we are going to probably pass out, or at least be unresponsive for some time. There are going to be serious emotions, and YOU have to deal with that. You have been warned.
Every sub has triggers to help them enter that headspace they want and need. The cage is a HUGE trigger. When you emphasize my locked status, I’m going to get that headspace so much more quickly. I think that is true for almost every permanently locked sub. You will explore and find your way, but just bear in mind that the cage is powerful, and you should incorporate that into your D/s dynamic. I can’t get there without it. Whatever other kinks you and the sub may have, they can all be incorporated with chastity and denial. Be creative, have fun, and enjoy your locked property.