There are days when being locked is almost agonizing. There are days when all I can think about is the feeling of a warm mouth on my uncaged cock, or of driving my hard dick into a tight ass and pounding it until I come, feeling my seed shoot into that inviting hole. My cock gets so hard, my cage so tight, and I dream of what it was like. Those days happened more often when I started this journey, but now are rare. Today was one of those days.
I woke up hard this morning. Not my usual hard, but one of those ridiculous hard mornings where I wake up grinding my hips into the mattress and my cock is attempting to burst out of its prison. There’s no one particular reason for it, or not one I’ve figured out. I layed next to a sleeping Tripp, too early to get up and unable to go back to sleep. My hand was unable to stop playing with my cage. I watched him sleep, barely able to resist the desire to grab him, thinking about how it felt to have his mouth on my uncaged cock and of mornings in the past where I pushed my hardness between his legs and gently fucked him awake.
I spent most of the day trying to ignore my constantly hard cock and actually get work done. By mid-afternoon, I gave up. I hunted Tripp down in the kitchen and slithered up behind him. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the back of his neck over and over. I pushed the titanium tent pole between my legs against his ass, grinding away. He grabbed my crotch (which was noticeably wet from leaking). “Somebody’s horny today”, he said. I grunted an acknowledgement and kept grinding against him. I’m not allowed to ask for an orgasm, so as much as I wanted to, I didn’t. Besides, I’ve already come this month.
“Are you ever going to let me fuck you again?” I whispered.
He turned around and looked at me. “You wanted to be locked, remember?” he asked.
“Yes”, I answered, still kissing his neck, “but I was just thinking about how long it’s been since I’ve fucked you with my actual dick”
“Maybe someday after you’ve been locked a lot longer”, he replied. I whimpered. “That’s not for you anymore”, he scolded. The truth struck home. Using my actual cock is not for me any longer. When I asked him to lock me, I also asked him not to unlock me, particularly when I was horny. I knew there would be days like today and I hoped he would be strong for me. Today he was a pillar of steel. “Go put your pacifier in” he commanded (he calls the XXXL plug my pacifier).
I slinked off upstairs, grabbed “the pacifier”, and pushed it into my ass. As it filled me and grazed my prostate, I leaked again. I was tempted to grab a dildo from the drawer and fuck myself, but I did as I was told. I did work the plug back and forth, trying to get some relief, and managed to get a fair volume of pre-come out of myself. I don’t want to be released, but there are times when the drive to rutt is incredibly strong.
Eventually, the feelings settled. Perhaps the plug and the milking was just enough. I’m still horny, but it’s manageable. Perhaps my brain, having lost interest in anything sexual for so many months is in overdrive. I don’t know. It was just a more intense bout of desire and animal instinct than I have felt in ages. But, as Tripp pointed out, that’s not my path anymore and this path, the path where my cock remains caged, denied, and owned is the one I asked for, even on days like today.