We’ve been slowly, inexorably heading towards what recently happened between Tripp and I. Even though it happened quite suddenly, every turning point has a series of events that lead to it. I’ve been locked almost 2 years, but it somehow seems new, because the dynamic has changed. I have the same feelings as I did at another turning point; the first time I wore a cage without having the keys nearby. I felt scared, excited, worried, ecstatic, and mind-blown. That was a “shit got real” moment, and now I’ve had another one, and this time it wasn’t my idea. This time, it was pretty much all Tripp, which just adds to the excitement.
Over the past 2 years, I’ve always somehow felt that I still held a key, at least mentally, if not physically. I could probably talk Tripp into unlocking me if I wanted to. I didn’t, but the possibility was always there. He was locking me because I wanted it. That’s changed. He’s not unlocking me. With that comes the realization that my dick is never getting used again. He’s made it clear that I will never have an uncaged orgasm again. Let that sink in; the cock that I’ve shoved down many a throat or up many an ass is benched, permanently. I’m never getting sucked again. I’m never going to fuck anyone except using a strap on. If I come, it will be in my cage. I no longer have that mental key. Tripp took it away. Oh, I’m sure if a problem develops, and cage removal is necessary, he’ll take my cock out of its shell, but he won’t ever use it or let me use it again. I’m also orgasm denied, but that’s not permanent. He’ll make me come from time to time, I’m sure, but who knows, if he starts enjoying not letting me come as much as he is enjoying not letting me use my cock….
I don’t know what to call my new state. I wear a chastity device, but I’m not chaste. I have sex, and lots of it. I’m not celibate either. Again, I’m having more sex now than almost anytime in the last decade. I’m just not using my dick for the purposes nature intended. It’s still getting used, though. It’s getting used to fuck with my head.
I’m not “denied” either, because I am getting what I want and need, which is erotic orgasm denial (well….severely delayed at any rate), and the loss of the possibility that I can have an orgasm out of my cage. Thumper uses the term “kept”. I don’t feel kept, because that implies it’s just in storage for use at a later date. So, I don’t know what to call my state. Locked seems to be the most accurate. Yet that requires a qualifier, as in “indefinitely” or “permanently” or what have you. It also implies the device is essential, which it isn’t (oh, it helps, a lot). I guess I’m denied the active sexual use of my penis. I’m dick-denied.
Whatever I am, I am excited about this new adventure. I don’t know why having my cock privileges revoked and my orgasms delayed is so exciting to me, but it is. It makes me hard (which is of course, incredibly ironic), but that’s true for pretty much all locked men, I think. There’s the power exchange dynamic at play. There is no power greater than having someone solely responsible for controlling your orgasms and keeping your little dude in jail. It’s heavy D/s stuff, even though much of my relationship with Tripp is not D/s. But it does connect us again, in a way we haven’t felt in a long time. I think Tripp is finding immense pleasure in owning my caged cock and in all the attention he is getting from me. I think for the first time, he loves me locked. He is no longer doing it for me, but because he wants to. I am utterly beguiled by the man I married years ago, and that is worth paying the price of dick-denial.