I’ve been talking with someone. Someone who gets what is going on in my kink brain and who wants pretty much the same things, from the Top side. Someone who is as excited about me being locked as I am, who wants to keep me locked away, and who encourages and desires it as much as I do. Someone who takes an strong interest in me being locked and wants to actively participate. Someone who wants not just a sub, but a locked sub. Maybe my finally accepting what I am and what I want has made it possible. Bestill my heart.
That’s not the only kink we share. He wants a sub whose kinks dovetail with his, and it seems, for the most part, ours do. Not 100%, but that never happens anyway. I’ve had a number of disappointments lately, so I am trying (emphasis on trying) to stay cool and go slow, but I have got to tell you, it’s amazing how many buttons he pushes. He’s being much better at not going overboard. I don’t have a type, per se, though he is more of a bear. What I do have is a need to connect on a mental level when it comes to kink. It’s really the most important thing. You can be a stunning god of a man, and I’ll drool over your pictures, but if the kink aspect doesn’t mesh, I won’t be interested. Here, as far as I can tell, it’s meshing very well. He seems very interested in actually owning me, assuming things work out, and I can see myself on my knees cleaning his boots with my tongue.
He’s ruggedly handsome, but not a gym bunny or a muscle guy. He thinks I’m handsome too, so we will be making an optometrist appointment for him. We’re close to the same age. He’s got a sexy beard. He’s confident and seems comfortable with himself. I’m feeling smitten. I know, I’ve been here before and things did not go well, but I’m still optimistic that I can find another Sir to connect on that most intimate level. Finding someone with whom you can just let go and become the sub pig you are meant to be isn’t easy. It wasn’t easy when I was young and hot, just there were more opportunities. It’s been over two years since I’ve had that connection, and I know I need it.
We are going to get together very soon for a weekend to feel out each other so to speak. In the meantime, I’m enjoying the tasks he’s giving me, the things like the fact that he wants me plugged and he wants to decide which plug. He calls me his pig. He’s opened the possibility of a Master/slave relationship, but not for now. I find myself eagerly awaiting his messages and instructions.
Now, there are some issues we will have to figure out. Primarily is distance, and while he is not so far away as to make it impossible, it’s not likely we can just have spontaneous booty calls. My former Sir lived a few miles away. I met him at the local leather club (yes, children, before Grindr we actually had social clubs and would actually meet every month in a real building!). You met people who were in your area. Even the recent man who kind of ghosted me lived close by. I’ve not done a distance thing, though I know it can be done, because I’ve got several friends who are doing it successfully. And we aren’t thousands of miles apart, but a few hundred.
So, as I said, I’m optimist. Cautiously optimistic given how things can seem great one moment and then you never hear from them again in this internet based kink dating world. But, he seems like a genuine booted leather-clad kinky as fuck gentleman. And he seems to think I am as well.
I’ll keep you posted.