I’ve been essentially permanently locked for over 1500 days (yes, that’s a little over 4 years if you’re not inclined to do math). And yet, it’s as thrilling today as the first time a cage was placed on my cock some 25 years ago. You would think that by now it would be old hat, maybe a little routine, even occasionally boring, but it’s not. Every day feels like the first day. It’s still exciting, titillating, and erotic as fuck. Every time I see the cage, or feel it, the contents get hard. Running my hand over it, stroking it like I used to stroke my cock sends a jolt through me every time. On the rare times it has to be removed, I feel incomplete.
That it’s still thrilling is both a testament to the power of kink and to the need I have to be locked. To me, being locked is the ultimate act of submission. The cock is a powerful symbol of maleness. To give that to someone else is a sacred act. To have it owned, controlled, denied is as exciting now as it was in the beginning. To paraphrase my bkf (who said it so well), chastity doesn’t take away, it adds. It amplifies a sensation we normally neglect, and the denial and horniness is akin to an orgasm. In fact, I’d argue it’s better than an orgasm. Orgasms last moments, whereas the erotic denial goes on and on, perpetual, and never ending. In a D/s relationship, it’s the most powerful of power exchanges.
Sure, I think about when my cock was used. I enjoyed it, probably still would, but it was nowhere near as emotionally and sexually satisfying as my current (and future) state of denial. I know that sounds odd if you don’t share the desire to be locked, but it’s true (at least for me and I think for many of my locked brethren).
It was always one of my biggest fantasies to be locked full time. I’m still amazed it came true. Ever since I was first locked all those years ago, I wanted it. Whenever I locked someone (and I locked a number of someones), there was always a tinge of jealousy. My only regret is that I didn’t ask to be locked full time back then. Of course, the cages available at that time didn’t really facilitate that, but I do feel like I should have been locked for the past 20+ years and I wish I had been. However. I am now, and that’s what matters.
I do miss having a Dominant who is as invested in my chastity as I am. I am lucky to have Trip and a KH who does push the right buttons, but I do miss the more intense D/s aspects I used to have and I’m hopeful I will have again someday. I’m certainly open for it. The universe has a funny way of working things out sometimes.
Maybe it’s the giddiness of Locktober, when everyone seems to be discovering the joys of chastity that has me thinking this way, but regardless, I’m grateful each and every day I remain caged and even if I were totally on my own, I wouldn’t change it.