I was awake for several hours the other night. Trip was sleeping soundly next to me. My cage was incredibly tight, my horniness level was at 11, and I found my hand mindlessly stroking the titanium dick in a fruitless effort to relive the feelings of pleasure my pre-locked self so easily could. It wasn’t conscious, but it just kept reinforcing that I no longer have access to what was once my cock, but is no longer, which of course made the cage even tighter. Knowing how hard the contents of the cage was and feeling nothing but the metal encasing it was a feedback loop of epic proportions.
I spoke to Sir (Sir S.) earlier in the day . That’s not unusual, we speak or text daily. We are seeing each other soon and I was (and am excited) about it. But when Sir S. mentions that the cock and the ass, and in fact the whole package, belongs to Him, it sets me off. But that’s not the only reason. I know my titanium dick belongs to Him, but soon He will have total control over it if He wants. He is getting his own custom made key and I want to give him control over the other keys in the lockbox. Then I talked to Trip about it, and Trip’s pleasure in seeing me get what I need sent me over the edge.
Trip likes me locked. He prefers me locked, but he doesn’t really want to control my cock. He doesn’t want to be the keyholder, per se. When I was first permanently locked, it was my former Master (Master B.) who controlled it. Trip has a key (as he should), but he was happy to let Master B. do all the heavy lifting. When that relationship ended, Trip was forced to take on responsibility that he really didn’t want. He does it, but his heart isn’t really in it. Trip doesn’t get joy from owning a metal cock. He is amused by it, and he enjoys having a locked husband, but he’s not a Dom and doesn’t get gratification from ownership. Sir S, on the other hand, does. When Trip and I discussed the possibility that Sir S. would own it fully, Trip was fine with it (relieved might be a better term). In fact, he was excited for me. So I find myself finally back to where I started and to where I need to be, and that is to be owned by a man who is invested in keeping me a locked, denied submissive with no access to the flesh cock without permission and with little likelihood of ever allowing His property to cum. The emergency key will go back into a box with a numbered plastic lock, and the remaining keys will be back in a blue tooth lock box that only Sir S. will control.
While I’ve never unlocked without permission, the possibility has been there since Master B. ended our relationship. Trip has never gone out of his way to keep the keys away from me. He knows I’d only use them when necessary, but he doesn’t want me to have to ask him for permission. He’s made it clear that I can unlock for cleaning, appointments, etc without asking. But that’s not quite enough. I want to feel owned. I want someone to have control over my metal dick. Just feeling that helplessness again is what I need and desire, and it’s blowing my mind. I didn’t think I’d find that again. To be owned by someone who truly desires a locked sub and wants that control is the stuff dreams (both dry and wet) are made of.
And thus the many hours of sleeplessness the other night. While lying there unable to relieve the extreme horniness and unable to satisfy the reptile brain’s desire to orgasm, I was reminded that it is what I want and deserve. The fact that I am so close to getting that again is driving me to heights of agony and ecstasy, just like in the beginning of my journey. I am and will be forever grateful to the two men in my life who are making this possible. To Trip and to Sir S., I am so thankful and blessed to have you in my life.
-Doc